my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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