I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize