She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize