brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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