I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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