her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
