im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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