Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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