How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
