glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jerry, you need to find god
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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