I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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