You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
