so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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