there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
