i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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