i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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