So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you traded sex for a burrito?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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