you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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