I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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