ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
