drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I had to cum in my sink.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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