I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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