Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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