Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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