i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
