believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
