She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
