I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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