Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
