i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
