Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
