Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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