Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My penis needs a shock collar
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
