Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
