Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
