I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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