Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
