Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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