i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
