blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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