where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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