How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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