I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
