I'm gonna have a badass scar
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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