when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
