What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His hands were made for my vagina.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
