season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize