my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
