I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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