**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
