sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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