And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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