Don't you send me to vm
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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