It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
