if you like me you must not know who I am
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
