what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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