That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call